With Father’s Day reminders happening all last week, I’m reminded of a story at a special needs home where my dad worked as a cook when I was a teenager. It was a place for about a dozen adults. This was his second job; by trade, he was also a chef at his primary job.
In high school, one summer, I worked for him, not because my skills were good; I was mostly kept busy with small tasks.
Well, one afternoon, my mom stopped by for a tour of this unique house, and she met the residents, learning that every two roomies had a staff member who assisted them. The home had a recreation room with a ping pong table, a pool table, exercise equipment, and a library where residents could read, paint, and color pictures.
Mom learned the residents also enjoyed outings to the zoo, and my father would often prepare picnic lunches for them to eat at Papago Park. And they also went to the movies and other places.
While on tour, she witnessed two young women verbally disagree. Since it was time for snacks, the ladies were fussing over who would get the last glass of grape soda, although plenty of orange soda was available.
A staff member did her best to convince one of the ladies to take an orange soda, but they both said no. She said, “Then you leave me no choice. I’m getting the judge to decide the outcome.”
I wondered if my dad might be the person she’d return with, but after the staff member walked to another room, returning with a bag similar to those used for church offerings, I knew I’d learn a new method for solving disagreements.
She told my mom and everyone in the room that the bag held a blank card and a picture of a robed judge. And whoever drew the judge out of the bag would decide who got the grape soda.
Now, this sounded like a great idea. Loretta and Alma agreed to the process since this was the standard way minor disagreements were decided, and the residents always honored the decisions by using the judge bag.
Each woman drew a card, and Loretta’s was blank. And Alma drew the judge.
Ms. Staff Member said, “Alma since you got the judge, it’s your decision who gets the grape soda.”
Alma stood, pondering her decision, and she glanced at the judge on the card. Then she glanced at the soda glasses. I thought it was a no-brainer because Alma had the judge’s card, so surely she would take the grape soda. My dad looked on, too, brought in with the situation, as he stood by my mom.
Finally, Ms. Staff Member encouraged Alma to make a decision. “Alma, what is your decision? Who gets the grape soda?”
With a sly grin, Alma smiled and said, “Loretta gets the grape soda.”
Everyone applauded, and the two ladies left the room arm-in-arm, smiling and content, with Alma holding a glass of orange soda and Loretta with the grape.
So, do you ever think you’re entitled? Or you must have this or that? Now, what if we were to choose another way by considering others? That day became a great lesson for me, one I’ve never forgotten. But if you need help, I can make a judge-card for you.
Wait, better yet, what if we were moved to think like Christ with noble acts of kindness instead? Let’s pause and think of ways to show compassion, be a friend, and walk arm-in-arm with someone today. And maybe you might need to give up the grape and settle for orange soda instead.
Oh, and by the way, back in the kitchen, in the cabinet, my dad showed me another case of grape soda pop. He said, “They’ll have another orange-grape episode soon, and the judge will come out of the bag again.”
As I reflect on my daddy’s grin that day, I’m thankful to say he never judged my twin sister, Mel, and me harshly but instead loved us with a kindness that sticks close to my heart like grape and orange-like love. I’ll never forget!
